I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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