The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
