If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
