mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
