she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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