im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
