My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
