Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
