he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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