This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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