It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
