when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
