Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
