would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I haven't been this sober since birth.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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