I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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