What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
