Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he thought i was a dude.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
