Will you blow on my dice?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
