She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
