So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
