Umm I'm too high to move.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So much Jack, so little girl.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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