Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
