I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just found puke in my bra..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
