We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
