She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
