I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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