DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
