Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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