ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
