No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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