as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
