I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh god it's open bar.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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