Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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