i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
