guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What drink are we having for lunch?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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