Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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