question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
