it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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