okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
