Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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