I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Screwed.edu
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
