you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My bed smells like the plague
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
