just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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