Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
