I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
