You work out of a Hotel?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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