he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
