I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
