So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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