It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
