I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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