What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
