I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize