imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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